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Old 02-18-2008, 10:58 PM   #41
CrazyBytes01
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Default Re: Alternate Secrets

Aaaah oke i have plenty of patience so we will see what will happen in the next chapter
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Old 02-19-2008, 05:42 AM   #42
AshleyHunter
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Default Re: Alternate Secrets

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only thing is the bow with an EE?

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But i was thinking the same as AshleyHunter a bow on a EE ?

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All will be explained in the next chapter or so. Patience, grasshopppers.

[/ QUOTE ]



sits and waits patiently
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Old 02-19-2008, 03:49 PM   #43
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Default Re: Alternate Secrets

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
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I've been asked to relay this from AshleyHunter:

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"That was a beautiful story keep them coming it was nice to read while I Had my lunch (grapes and what appears to be spring water) I felt as thou I was there."

Thank you.

[/ QUOTE ]

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Uhh....Is AshleyHunter sure it's for my story and not someone else's? I only listed three chapters!

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Yes it was from my Cousin Ashley Hunter. Ashley Stop posting and only send Private messages, However you have private messages blocked which means she has to ask people to post for her. Keep private messages block so that maybe my cousin will stop being silly and start posting again.

P.S. She said she enjoyed reading your story and keep them coming she's waiting on 5.

[/ QUOTE ]

Um....... I don't remember posting this... When did I post this?.... I need to stop drinking *falls to the floor*
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Old 02-19-2008, 04:16 PM   #44
KnightOfDarkness
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Default Re: Alternate Secrets

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've been asked to relay this from AshleyHunter:

[ QUOTE ]
"That was a beautiful story keep them coming it was nice to read while I Had my lunch (grapes and what appears to be spring water) I felt as thou I was there."

Thank you.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Uhh....Is AshleyHunter sure it's for my story and not someone else's? I only listed three chapters!

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes it was from my Cousin Ashley Hunter. Ashley Stop posting and only send Private messages, However you have private messages blocked which means she has to ask people to post for her. Keep private messages block so that maybe my cousin will stop being silly and start posting again.

P.S. She said she enjoyed reading your story and keep them coming she's waiting on 5.

[/ QUOTE ]

Um....... I don't remember posting this... When did I post this?.... I need to stop drinking *falls to the floor*

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok I read from the beggining till the ast chapter and I have to say..............When's the next chapter coming!?!??

Also I have an idea of why she had a bow and dagger. But no spoilers
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Old 02-22-2008, 12:08 AM   #45
Mulch
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Default Re: Alternate Secrets

I like the story so far, but I think it's a bit silly to be talking about experience as it is in the game. Better to just call it training and not mentioning the standard MMO terms, the story is so nice but this ruins it a bit for me, making it feel artificial or something

Keep up the good work!
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Old 02-22-2008, 08:51 AM   #46
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Default Re: Alternate Secrets

Well, try not think of it as experience points. It's more like work experience; the more you train and practice, the better you eventually get. And the more intensive the experience is (e.g. military or accelerated classes), the faster you progress in your field.

Sorry, I know that explanation sounds so "grown-up," but that's what we adults end up doing after finishing school. We build up work experience so that we can get a **** good salary and live the American dream (whatever it is these days).
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Old 02-22-2008, 10:01 AM   #47
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Default Re: Alternate Secrets

[ QUOTE ]
Well, try not think of it as experience points. It's more like work experience; the more you train and practice, the better you eventually get. And the more intensive the experience is (e.g. military or accelerated classes), the faster you progress in your field.

Sorry, I know that explanation sounds so "End-Game," but that's what we Nobles end up doing after finishing quests. We build up Monster Killing experience so that we can get a **** good adena income and live the Aden dream (whatever it is these days).

[/ QUOTE ]


Fixed
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Old 02-22-2008, 06:24 PM   #48
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Default Re: Alternate Secrets

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, try not think of it as experience points. It's more like work experience; the more you train and practice, the better you eventually get. And the more intensive the experience is (e.g. military or accelerated classes), the faster you progress in your field.

Sorry, I know that explanation sounds so "End-Game," but that's what we Nobles end up doing after finishing quests. We build up Monster Killing experience so that we can get a **** good adena income and live the Aden dream (whatever it is these days).

[/ QUOTE ]


Fixed

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL!
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Old 02-22-2008, 09:39 PM   #49
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Default Re: Alternate Secrets

I love the story. . . .OrochiGirl is my hero!
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Old 02-24-2008, 02:29 PM   #50
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Chapter 6

It didn't take long for Laneele to go back to the same place as yesterday. But before veering off the path, she stopped and discreetly put her right hand on her left wrist and pushed the left button on her medal. The button she pushed turned red, and the one that was red before turned black. The symbol on the medal blurred to an undistinguishable picture before it changed to a different symbol. After unsheathing her dagger, she headed towards the fog.

Hiding in the fog, the dark elf watched Laneele change direction and head toward the same area as yesterday. She wasn't expecting her to be back so soon, but she figured she would. She would finally have her revenge.

Laneele stopped at the very spot she collapsed and knelt down to study the ground. In the dried grass she saw markings of footsteps that seemed to stop in the very place where she slept. Judging from the trail, it looked as if it began from the tree nearby. But before she stood up, Laneele felt a powerful force hit her from behind. Laneele reacted in pain before collapsing to the ground.

When she saw the light elf fall, the dark elf ran towards her. One hit? Her spell must have hit a critical spot and ended her life right there. It wasn't exactly how she wanted it to happen, but it will do. The dark elf stood over Laneele. Laneele's back was towards the dark elf. She knelt down and pulled on the light elf's shoulder so that she was lying on her back. She wanted to see her bleed and make sure she was dead. This time, she wasn't going to hesitate. Assuming the same position as yesterday, the dark elf thrust her dagger at Laneele's throat.

Laneele dodged the dagger just in time. She rolled away from the dark elf, quickly jumped to her feet and put some distance between her and the dark elf. The dark elf pulled out her dagger from the ground, shocked at the sight of the moving light elf. "How?" she exclaimed. "I saw you fall!" She sheathed her dagger, stood up, and pulled out a sword.

A Sword of Miracles, Laneele recognized it. But it was glowing a deep red. Judging from the way the glow was flowing and its intensity, the weapon was obviously enchanted to a high level. Quite a feat, considering the success rate.

Laneele took the time to quickly study the dark elf. A mage of some kind, she looked quite powerful. Her hair, a silvery color, was pulled back and rolled in a ball. She wore a type of tiara that followed her hairline, keeping the hair from covering her eyes. The robes, if they can be called that, barely covered the dark elf's body, but Laneele could tell what type they were. The unmistakable light tint in the cloth, the fishnet top, the red and black boots, and the tail hanging behind her; this dark elf might be a challenge for Laneele.

The dark elf pointed her glowing sword at the light elf. "Ah, faking death. I see the saint's path isn't the only path you've chosen. I must say I'm surprised at the additional profession you've learned."

As soon as the dark elf finished speaking, she lowered her sword and began her cast of a familiar wind spell. Laneele ran towards her. She had to take her down before that spell hit her. She hadn't recovered much from that first hit, and faking her death took a good chunk of mana from her. Laneele was positive that she would reach her before she got hit. But what happened next caught Laneele off guard.

No sooner did the dark elf start casting than the wind spell hurled in Laneele's direction. Laneele stopped in her tracks, folded her arms in an X in front of her chest, and braced herself for the blow. Too fast, she thought. The distance between them wasn't long, but Laneele took only a few paces before she was hit by the second spell. Laneele let out a low curse. The dark elf must have prepared herself well if she was able to cast so fast and so powerfully. That sword must have also contributed to the spell's power and her casting. There was no way she would be able to match the dark elf's casting speed if she used her bow, even if she had known her opponent would be such a powerful mage and had pushed the other button on her medal instead. Faking her death again was definitely not an option; that d*** skill worked only half the time. She was lucky it worked when it did. Her next move had to be timed carefully.

Seeing the light elf stop so suddenly made the dark elf smile. So, she noticed, she cheerfully thought to herself. She had to thank her brother after this was over. She began to cast a different spell this time, knowing it would further weaken her. It was a little slower, but there was no way the light elf would be able to recover fast enough before the dark elf landed the desired killing blow.

Seeing the dark elf cast, Laneele dashed towards the dark elf at an incredible pace, using a speed spell that she knew the dark elf wouldn't expect her to know. When she closed in and while the dark elf was still casting, she pulled her dagger back as far as she could and quickly thrust her dagger at the dark elf's exposed abdomen.

This move interrupted the dark elf's casting, and she staggered back, immediately covering the wound with her left hand. Blood seeped from between her fingers.

While slightly doubled over, the dark elf used her sword to keep herself propped up. "How in the underworld could you have run that fast? The only ones who are capable of that speed are..." The dark elf paused, slightly wincing at the pain from the wound. A look of shock filled her face. "Humans? You actually trained with those mediocre beings?"

Laneele struggled to keep her hands up. "They're more skilled than you think."

The dark elf turned her head to the side to spit blood from her mouth. "Not skilled enough," the dark elf smirked. "If that was supposed to be some kind of lethal strike, it obviously didn't work." The dark elf looked down at her blood-covered hand. The wound she was covering was bleeding more than normal. The dark elf cursed, realizing that the light elf didn't intend for the strike to be lethal. If she didn't heal herself, she would eventually bleed to death; but if she did, it would dry out her mana and also leave her vulnerable. The dark elf looked up at the light elf with an angry face. D*** that light elf!

Demonstrating her pain tolerance and resilience, the dark elf righted herself in an upright position. She made no hesitation to begin casting another potentially lethal spell. That light elf had to go down; she will go down!

Laneele had to act quickly as she only had one chance on this. While silently begging to Eva to let this work, she ran again towards the dark elf and began to execute a deadly blow to her stomach.

Unfortunately, Laneele missed the critical area she was aiming. A faint curse escaped Laneele's lips before the dark elf's spell exploded in front of her. It forced her back a good distance from the dark elf, practically sending her flying. She hit the ground, winded and slightly dizzy from the spell's point blank hit. It was a miracle that she was still able to hold on to her dagger.

Laneele had extreme trouble breathing. That spell critically injured her and almost knocked her out. The pain was unbearable and it was preventing her from even sitting up. That dark elf had to be a Storm Screamer, one of the most powerful mages ever known. Just how did she end up in this position?

The dark elf covered her wound again, sheathed her sword, and pulled out her dagger. She began to walk towards the fallen elf. She didn't want to kill her with a spell. She wanted to see the look in her eyes when she would plunge the dagger in her neck. She wanted to see the light elf bleed. She wanted the light elf to see her face right before she died, the same way she saw that same light elf's face before she almost died back at the Ruins of Despair long ago.

Laneele counted the seconds. Where was the next spell? Why wasn't she casting? Laneele heard staggered crunching sounds of dried grass. Footsteps. While tolerating the pain, she did her best to raise her head as much as she could and saw the dark elf walk towards her. She noticed the dark elf had the dagger rather than the sword. What was she going to do? Laneele rolled over on her back and looked at the sky until her view became blocked by the sight of the dark elf looking down at her.

The dark elf locked eyes with Laneele. That light elf. How could she attack her and leave her to die at the ruins? What kind of light elf was she to attack a person who was running from a monster that turned on her when the rest of her group expired?

"Why didn't you help me?"

"What?" Laneele responded when she heard the dark elf faintly whisper. She struggled to breath. "What do you mean?" Laneele stared back at the dark elf. It took a lot of effort to speak. She forced out as much of her voice as she could while trying to catch her breath at the same time. "And why do you want my life so badly?"

"What's it to you light elf?" snapped the dark elf. Her voice was filled with anger and hatred. "You've taken lives before. Why should you have the right to ask that question?"

Taken lives? Whose life could she possibly have taken? Trying to keep her voice above a whisper so that the dark elf can hear, she responded, "I don't understand. I don't recall ever seeing you before."

That pushed the dark elf over the edge. She didn't remember? The dark elf scowled in fierce anger. With a loud scream, she grabbed her dagger in both hands and thrust it towards the light elf.

Flipping her dagger in a reverse grip, Laneele quickly blocked the dark elf's dagger with her own. Laneele's dagger's edge was pressed against the dark elf's dagger's guard. As each of them pushed their dagger in the other's direction, Laneele asked, "Who are you? I swear I never attacked you before." Despite Laneele's weakened state and her dire position, she was curious about the dark elf's resolve. "Why do you want to end my life?"

The dark elf's eyes turned black and her anger rose. "Because you tried to take mine! Don't you remember that day in the ruins?" Images of that day flashed in the dark elf's mind.

"I saw you run towards me," screamed the dark elf. "I saw you stop and cast a spell. I saw you throw that wind spell at me. That zombie was going to end my life, but you! You decided to end it instead. I felt the impact. I know it was you!"

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Old 02-25-2008, 12:02 AM   #51
CrazyBytes01
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Default Re: Alternate Secrets

Hmmmm stunning story addon

And now i finally understood why the bow.. a 2nd profession is added
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Old 02-25-2008, 03:54 AM   #52
AshleyHunter
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Default Re: Alternate Secrets

[ QUOTE ]
Hmmmm stunning story addon

And now i finally understood why the bow.. a 2nd profession is added

[/ QUOTE ]

Same here and nicely done so she's also a TH and if I understood right she has still a unknown 3rd.
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Old 03-02-2008, 05:52 PM   #53
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LOL a Highly Augmented +16 SOM with acumen. GF
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Old 03-02-2008, 09:33 PM   #54
OrochiGirl
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Okay, this chapter is a bit long, but please bear with it for now. I'll try not to make the future chapters so long.
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Old 03-02-2008, 09:45 PM   #55
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Chapter 7

A female dark elf was hunting with a couple of her fellow dark elves and a female orc. Though they were still inexperienced, they believed that their party would be capable of hunting in the Ruins of Despair. It was an evil place. Undead roamed the lands, ranging from skeletal soldiers to zombies. Only cautious warriors knew how aggressive these monsters were; there was always a possibility of attracting more monsters than necessary.

Yet that's exactly what happened that fateful day. One of the headstrong dark elves boasted how skilled he was with his bow. While the party was still in the middle of killing a group of monsters, he went off to attract more of them and "herd" them back to the party. A couple of the skeletons caught up to him before he reached his party and viciously attacked him. The fool didn't bring enough arrows, nor did he bring a back-up weapon. The mob showed no mercy.

Right after they killed the last monster in the group, the other dark elves and the orc realized one of their comrades had fallen. With barely any time to heal, the group immediately ran and turned its attention to the new advancing mob. One dark elf, an assassin in training, was able to kill one of the monsters that the archer weakened but was quickly overtaken by the other skeletons and zombies. With no time to heal herself first, the female dark elf did her best to keep her comrade alive while the orc tried to catch up to them. However, the undead slayers did more damage to the assassin than she could heal.

When the unfortunate assassin died, the mob turned its attention to their next target. The female dark elf turned around and ran towards the approaching orc. She passed her and allowed her to attract the rest of the mob. The orc threw her fists left and right, reducing the mob's numbers while the dark elf focused her heals on the orc. So focused was she on the healing that she didn't realize how much her mana had been depleted.

The orc, realizing this, screamed at the remaining dark elf. "Go! I'll handle them!" Despite the orc's massive size, the repeated attacks from the undead was slowly whittling away at her. The dark elf froze in terror. She didn't want to be alone, and she didn't want to leave the orc behind. "I can't!" she screamed. "I can't leave you!"

The orc was battling a skeleton and a zombie, the only two left from the mob the stupid archer attracted. "Go, before more appear! I can handle these! There's a clear path; go, before—"

The dark elf heard the orc's death moan. The orc was able to kill the skeleton, but the zombie was still alive, albeit severely weakened. With no mana left and very little health remaining, the dark elf made a mad dash out of the ruins.

The zombie slowly went after the escaping dark elf. Despite the distance between them, the zombie was able to attack by casting a dark spell at the dark elf. The dark elf faltered slightly but gathered her footing and continued to run. If she got hit once more, she knew she'd never see her brother again. She had to keep running.

She caught sight of a female light elf running right towards her. Please, help me! she thought. She saw the light elf cast, but it didn't look like a cast of healing. It was the cast of attacking. She was going to kill her? Oh Shilen, no. The dark elf was using all her energy in running that she couldn't find her voice to scream. She saw the wind spell fly towards her. She felt the unmistakable impact. The dark elf stopped in her tracks and doubled over, staring at the ground. She fell to her side and saw two boots walk toward her. The dark elf turned and lay on her back, looking up at the dark sky before seeing the face of the light elf. Blackness then covered her eyes. She wished she could see her brother one last time.

Laneele struggled to keep the dagger from reaching her neck. "I never attacked you. I attacked the zombie that was behind you, except its spell reached you before mine reached it. It was the zombie's spell that hit you, not mine."

A look of disbelief filled the dark elf's face. It was the zombie's spell? Not hers? The dark elf pushed her dagger harder toward the light elf. "You lie! You're trying to deceive me!"

Laneele struggled to match the dark elf's slightly increased strength. She had to use her left hand to support her right wrist. Their daggers were shaking from the opposing forces. While struggling against the dark elf, Laneele tried to speak. "I'm not lying. Try to remember. Did you feel the spell hit you from the front or from behind?"

The dark elf's mind took her back to that day. She saw the light elf's spell hurl towards her. She felt the impact from the front, didn't she? Wait a minute. She carefully played the events over in her mind. The impact was...no. The impact was from behind! It wasn't the light elf's spell that hit her. It was the zombie's! The light elf didn't attack her after all.

The dark elf's eyes widened at her newfound revelation. "You...you did help me. You..." The dark elf closed her eyes. Tears were beginning to fall from her face. Her strength was wavering slightly, and Laneele eased up on her own pressure. Laneele carefully placed her left hand on the dark elf's hands and slowly moved the dark elf's dagger away from her neck. Laneele sheathed her own dagger and struggled to sit up. The dark elf lowered her head, looking down at the ground, and her arms dropped to her side, the dagger falling out of her hand.

While the dark elf silently cried, Laneele reached in her satchel and pulled out two vials. She drank from one and presented the other to the dark elf. The dark elf didn't move. Laneele put her hand on the dark elf's shoulder. "Hey, drink this." The dark elf looked up from the ground and looked at the vial in front of her. She took it and drank its contents. The dark elf wiped her eyes and mouth and felt the pain from her wound. She gently cupped her wound with her left hand and let out a light moan. Laneele shifted to the dark elf's right side and picked up the dropped dagger. After sheathing the weapon on the dark elf's leather sheath, she put the dark elf's right arm around the back of her neck. Laneele wrapped her left arm around the dark elf's waist and gently hoisted the dark elf to her feet.

It was a little difficult trying to keep the dark elf standing since she was taller. While supporting the dark elf, Laneele walked away from the fog toward the path and headed toward the Dark Elven Village.

Other than their breathing, both of them walked in silence. The dark elf was staring at the ground, replaying that fateful incident in her head.

After the dark elf felt the impact and collapsed on the ground, she lost consciousness, the view of the light elf's face being the last thing she saw. When she awoke, another dark elf was next to her. She wasn't on the ground, but rather on a bed. It was her brother, looking at her.

"Hey, how do you feel?" asked the male dark elf.

"Huh? What happened? Where..." The dark elf repeatedly blinked her eyes.

"I was going to ask you that. We're home. Take it easy."

The female dark elf felt her abdomen. She was bandaged all around her waist. She tried to sit up but her brother held her down.

"Stay still. You need to rest and recover. What happened to you?"

The female dark elf let out a moan. She suddenly turned to her brother and asked, "What about the rest of the group?"

He shook his head. "I couldn't save them. Their spirits already crossed over when I got to them. I almost lost you. What happened? Before I reached you, I saw a light elf running away. Did she attack you and the group?"

The female dark elf closed her eyes and put her right hand over her eyes. She relayed the unfortunate fate of the group to her brother; the idiot archer, the assassin and the orc, and the light elf.

"She really tried to kill you?"

The female dark elf squeezed her other hand into a fist. With a hardened deep voice the dark elf responded, "I'm going to get her. She'll pay. I don't care how long it takes."

Her brother stared at her. He too was a victim, many times, to others who would start a fight with him or just tried to kill him, especially the Chaotics, crazed people intoxicated by the thrill of killing others. Miracle after miracle, he was able to escape them. Many times he vowed to get back at those people, but as time passed, he knew it was pointless. Nearly every time he made a new vow, he never saw those people again. He even began to forget about them. Even if he encountered the person again, he found that the person eventually got what he or she deserved, usually by someone else. Because of his profession, he knew he wasn't capable of exacting revenge himself, but it pleased him to find out that those people got what was coming to them from others. They were just stupid people doing stupid things, and in the end, they got what they deserved. Petty revenges were just that; petty. He knew her sister wouldn't understand his point of view, so it would be pointless to convince her to just let the light elf go, even though he knew the truth of what really happened when he found his sister.

The female dark elf put her hand down and looked at her brother. "How did you know where to find me?"

"I overheard father tell you not to go to the Ruins of Despair. He said it was too dangerous for you. Defiant as you are, I knew you'd go anyway, so I went to look for you."

The dark elf let out a sigh. "Is he angry?"

"Of course he's angry. But he's more relieved that you're alive."

Soon afterwards their father entered the room. He asked his son to leave so that he could have a moment alone with his daughter. This usually meant a lecture. The male dark elf stood up and left the room, and the female dark elf braced herself for the lecture that her father was about to give her.

Laneele looked at the dark elf. Her head was still down, watching her feet while they walked. Her eyes seemed glazed over, as if she was lost in thought. Laneele turned her head back toward the path. She had questions to ask her, but settled on an introduction first. "My name is Laneele." Laneele waited for the dark elf to speak.

"Irydria." The dark elf said no more.

More silence passed before Laneele spoke again. "That sword, it's very impressive. I noticed the glow. How did you pull that off?"

Irydria took her time to answer. "Luck." Laneele only nodded. After a few seconds, the dark elf said, "And a lot of adena."

Laneele smiled. "Ah."

Irydria continued. "The sword belonged to my father, a Shillien Saint. When he heard I didn't follow the same path he did, he was clearly upset and dared me to demonstrate my power. But he didn't expect me to be...extreme."

Laneele thought about what Irydria just said. "Your father, did he..." Laneele dared not finish her sentence.

"Almost. But it's a good thing my older brother, who followed in my father's path, was with us. My father was on the brink of crossing after I..." Irydria paused for a while before continuing. "When he came to, he was just as shocked as we were. He was glad to pass his sword on to me since my older brother refused it. My older brother didn't understand why a Shillien Saint would choose a sword. He preferred staves."

Again, silence. They were nearing the entrance to the Dark Elven Village, as Laneele could see the cave entrance and the sentries in the distance.

"I want to ask you something," Irydria suddenly spoke.

"You want to know why I killed the zombie but not saved you from death."

Irydria was surprised at Laneele's good guess and responded with a light sounding, "Yes."

Laneele explained. "I saw a dark elf approaching. I knew that he didn't see me kill the zombie. The fact that I was hovering over you may have given him the impression that I killed you and the rest of the group. So I left."

Irydria thought about what Laneele said. Could it have been her brother that Laneele saw? If it was, she had to explain it to her brother if he didn't see what Laneele really did for her.

Laneele asked one more question. "Why didn't you kill me yesterday, when I fell asleep?"

Irydria stopped in her tracks, forcing Laneele to also stop. Laneele turned her head to face Irydria.

"I...I don't know," Irydria slowly responded. "I don't know what happened. Somehow, it didn't seem right to kill you in your sleep. I guess...I guess I wanted to fight you first." Irydria never lifted her eyes.

Laneele stared at Irydria. She rarely met anyone who followed the ethics of a true warrior and was quite surprised to see it in a dark elf.

"Well, that didn't seem to stop you from attacking me from behind," Laneele said.

"I cast my spell at you to gain your attention; I never intended to kill you with it," Irydria answered in a defensive tone. "When I saw you fall, I was sure you were dead. I was actually relieved that you faked your death and that the path of Eva's Saint wasn't the only profession you learned. If it was, how could you be a challenge for me before I killed you?"

Laneele smiled at Irydria. That was an unexpected response. "Well, anytime you would like to spar, I'm up for it."

Irydria looked up to see Laneele's smiling face. This light elf knew she was about to lose her life by her hands, but here she was, helping her return to the Dark Elven Village. The only other person she knew who was like this was her brother.

Irydria smiled in return. "I'd like to take you up on that offer some day."

"It may be sooner than you think. I'll be coming back tomorrow to give a few of the young ones a tour of your village."

Irydria let out a light laugh. "Is that so? We haven't seen many light elves visit the village."

Laneele and Irydria resumed walking until they reached the entrance of the Dark Elven Village.

"Thank you for your help. I can continue from here." Irydria pulled her right arm away from Laneele's shoulders and faced her. She doubled over slightly from the pain and held her wound with both hands.

"I'm sorry; I wish I could help you more." Laneele very much wanted to reach for her medal, but her conscience knew that wasn't allowed. It pained her to see Irydria doubled over and bleeding. She knew the healing potion she gave her helped, but only a little.

"Don't worry. My brother will help me. He's a Shillien Saint as I said. I'll be all right."

Laneele was a little relieved. "Then I'll see you tomorrow."

Irydria nodded. "I look forward to it."

Laneele turned around and ran off. Irydria turned and made her way down to the village and looked for her brother. With her new view of Laneele, Irydria knew what her brother would say.

Last edited by OrochiGirl; 09-23-2010 at 11:59 AM.
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Old 03-02-2008, 09:47 PM   #56
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oh my lanta. . .that was a good sized chapter
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Old 03-02-2008, 09:59 PM   #57
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That was a nice addition.
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Old 03-03-2008, 01:14 AM   #58
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Its a looong read but a very nice story addition
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Old 03-03-2008, 06:28 AM   #59
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Again, I'm sorry for the length. It was difficult to determine a stopping point for the previous chapter and a starting point for this recent chapter. So I decided to make this chapter the longer one.

Maybe I'm not cut out to be a writer. (But I did enjoy writing reviews for video games back in school. Free games, woo hoo! )
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Old 03-03-2008, 08:27 AM   #60
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Default Re: Alternate Secrets

[ QUOTE ]
Again, I'm sorry for the length. It was difficult to determine a stopping point for the previous chapter and a starting point for this recent chapter. So I decided to make this chapter the longer one.

Maybe I'm not cut out to be a writer. (But I did enjoy writing reviews for video games back in school. Free games, woo hoo! )

[/ QUOTE ]

The long chapter was fine and you are a very good writer don';t let anyone tell you different
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