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Old 07-06-2012, 10:54 AM   #1
Goblin Lord
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 49
Likh is on a distinguished road
Post The Chronicles of Likh (aka The Casual Chronicles). Chapter 1.

So... I'm back! What? No one remembers me, huh? Well right back at you guys!

1. Kinda awkward here nowadays, isn't it?

I spawned in Dark Elve... Wait, what? Talking-elpy-dung Island Village? With all the gay (happy) people running around? Seems a bit weird to me. Ah well, off to make some phantoms and stuff. Gotta kill that 1kk or so gobbos to earn my trusty no-grade club. 'Excuse me, kind Sir, where in this Shilen-forsaken land does one find your finest gobbos?', 'Sry, whats that? No, I ain't doing quests for you, you just talked to that dwarf and he smells... Well, alright. Whatcha want? Mhm, gotcha, go there, then there and don't get killed by falling leaves. Fine. No, I'm fairly certain I don't need buffs for that, thank you.'

So I went here and there and all of a sudden the guy gives me an Apprentice Staff and all other kind of things he must have taken from some poor weapon's merchant. Nearly stumbled there. 'You for real, man? This stuff is like... well 10 mil gobbos and a wagon of zombies and bats to pay for! Sure about that? Well thanks. Seems it's my lucky day. What now? You don't hunt gobbos here? Well what else you do for fun? What's that? Cry over bodies of slain people? Uh, you some kind of Amish cult, or what? No thanks, I'm fine with mah gobbos. What? Whadda you mean NO GOBBO?! No imps either?! Uhuh... dudes in funny hats you say? But crying pays more? You guys are nuts!'.

Needless to say I rushed down to the nearest gatekeeper I could find, bless their funny hats. 'Yes m'am, one ticket to the dark elven village, please. No charge? Wow, thanks, seem everything is for free here. Well, beam me up, Scotty.'

Ah, home sweet... OMG WHAT THE HELL?! Where my village at?! I really remember this place to be less... deserted and destroyed and stuff... I jogged to the surface to get a breath of fresh air and have a whack at some gobbos and imps, always calms me down.

Oh... These imps sure got big and all nowadays...

Continued below.

Last edited by Likh; 07-07-2012 at 08:08 AM.
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Old 07-06-2012, 03:41 PM   #2
Guardian Archangel
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Germany
Posts: 865
Rangur will become famous soon enough
Default Re: The Chronicles of Likh (aka The Casual Chronicles). Chapter 1.

Thanks for this Pretty much how I felt when I got back for GOD after not playing for 5 years. Started on a new server with everyone else at the same time and the questmobs were sooooo overcamped, so I decided to go level someplace more familiar. After all, how much xp can these newbie quests give, I would rather level quickly by killing some mobs that NOT 20 other players attack at the same time

The first exit from dark elven village was - no exit anymore. So after a little jog back through the village I found the other exit still being an exit, only to get a little scared outside

I ended up levelling up to 12 in orcland, when some guy that I had met before PMed me "Ding 15!" and I was lie "WTF HOW ?!" So I gave in and did the quests like all the other lemmings ^^
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Old 07-07-2012, 07:08 AM   #3
Goblin Lord
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 49
Likh is on a distinguished road
Default Re: The Chronicles of Likh (aka The Casual Chronicles). Chapter 1.

2. No dad, I don't wanna stupid gold fish.

Well, I had no other choice then go back to the friendly community consisting exclusively of drug dealers (judging from how they give everything away for free and all). So I went on and about crying several times, walking a guys dog and such. Then I went with a strange fellow to some kind of underground complex where we met a guy that by the looks of him was something around level 100 with blades sticking out of his forearms and everything.

So I thought, 'Oh, yeah... So this is this kinda instance where an end-game boss is gonna rip my head off for no apparent reason so I know what awaits me later on... HOLLY CRAP I KILLED HIM?! How the hell did I nuke that guys butt?! He looked like Bloody-gore-red-ultra Boss... of death... crimson death!'

*DING congrats you're level 20 now!*

Wait, wha? I just... It's been like... what? 15 min? Shouldn't I be grinding for like another month or so? Where the hell am I supposed to get my mats at this rate? And dem adenas?! Oh... right... stuff's for free now. Ok, ok, so I suppose I should become a mage... HEY! Because all of this I didn't get my dog! Wolf, I mean. Bloody hell, that poor guy in Gludin is waiting for me for like 5 levels now! Better hurry...

The lady in the funny hat said it was ok for me to go to Gludin for free as well... Well that's all fine and dandy but I'm not gonna drink anything anyone brings me at this party, no sir. Bunch of rapists...

Ah, there's the Dog-guy. 'Hi Dog-guy, I wanna pet. Yup, gonna kill all the nasty spiders I can find in my homeland, ya betcha. Cheers.'

One free teleport later I was at the spider nest. Last time I saw the place it was crawling with the eight-legged funnies... Hm... looks strangely... empty. Huh, seems someone went into holocaust mode and struck down all the poor little fellas. Gotta wait for a respawn it seems.

Waiting... waiting... waiting... Dang, something's broken. Gonna look elsewhere.

[Few hours later]

Ok... who the hell ate all the spiders and horrors?! Seriously, ain't funny. Betcha it was those monstrosities near the ruins of mah village.

I went back to the Dog-guy. 'Not funny, Dog-guy. How the hell am I supposed to kill extinct spiders?! Whadda ya mean no spiders - no wolf? You sword-with-a-broad-edge (thanks censorship)!'.

Well if that's how its gonna be... I called for my friend Kedrek the Dorf. 'Listen, I need you to go to your crappy, smelly village and hunt spiders there. 50 will do. No, I can't do it myself. Why? My boot up your nostril, that's why!'.

After several minutes...

'Good lad! Here is some coal for your trouble! What do you mean you don't need it?! Sure you do! Best coal I have!... You sure you don't want any? Strange little man... What's that? Eggs? No I don't have any **** EGGS, what's wrong with you?! Go away!' ... 'Oh! Wait!... Um, would you do the Dog-guy's test for me as well? He considers it cheating if you kill and I think... Yeah, I'll give you the answers, would be surprised if you knew how long the wolf's pregnancy lasts... Or wouldn't I?'

'Well, thanks for the dog, gimme some food as well. Shots? Nah, he's underage, he shouldn't be drinking.'

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Old 07-10-2012, 09:57 AM   #4
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Post Re: The Chronicles of Likh (aka The Casual Chronicles). Chapter 1.

Nice story!
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